Do You Enjoy Hurting Others or Allowing Others to Hurt You?

Posted by Gregg Korrol on May 1, 2018 4:13:04 PM

Odd question, right? The reason I ask is because I noticed how much people complain. Do you have any idea what happens within your body when you’re complaining? 

With any emotion, your body releases chemicals that are either lifting you up (ex: when you exercise or are happy) or putting you down and essentially poisoning you (ex: fear, anger, hate, complaints).  Complaints begin with a negative thought. You think about something, and it stirs up certain emotions (anger, frustration, etc). Once you start spending time focusing on those feelings, the body releases extra cortisol, which activates your “fight or flight system”, and puts you at risk for high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and strokes.

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Be mindful, the complaint is only the endgame of the thought and the feelings that you’ve already created within yourself. Once you complain, you’re actually starting to reinforce that feeling and encourage it. You then put it out into the world, which affects other people and how they’re feeling (think of how you want to get away from someone who complains a lot).

So in essence what you’re doing by complaining is both hurting yourself and hurting other people. Do you see yourself as a person that likes to harm yourself and others? If not, take steps to shut those negative thoughts down and stop complaining.

3 Quick Tips to Stop Complaining (or stop someone else from complaining)

  1. Refocus your thoughts on something else (or refocus the other person).
  2. Do any type of exercise that exerts your body and releases endorphins.
  3. Take a few deep breaths and take a walk for 5 minutes (step outside, etc)

What solutions do you have to stop yourself from complaining or stop someone else? Please share below.

 

Topics: Positivity, Relationships, Mindfulness, Life Coaching

What Happened To The Party?

Posted by Gregg Korrol on Apr 24, 2018 1:49:28 PM

Last week was my daughter’s ninth birthday. As dedicated parents, we of course made her birthday special with a day off from school, work (for me), balloons, activities, presents, and more!

Birthdays Are So Exciting And Something We All Look Forward To...Until….

What happens to us as we get older? Why do we stop celebrating? Is it that we don’t care because it happens yearly? I don’t think so. I think it comes back to Storytelling. As termed in my book, The Gifted Storyteller, storytelling is when we make a story up in our head, either the way we would like something to happen, or the way we fear something will happen, and then learn reality is very different. 

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We Stop Celebrating As Openly Because We Became Tired Of Being Disappointed

In other words, we had a few birthdays that didn’t turn out the way we had hoped, and to protect ourselves, we decide we won’t make such a big deal about our birthday to make sure the disappointment isn’t as big. Bluntly, expectations not met dull down our happiness. This happens with birthdays, seasons, and other areas of our life, until we reach a point where we just watch time pass, and wonder why everything is moving faster.

But Here’s The Truth…

1) Time isn’t moving faster! You are on autopilot, and not appreciating the gifts all around you. Stop and take in the moments, or smell the roses as the quote goes.

2) Celebrate - all the F#$%^n time! Celebrate your wins, your losses (or should I say your lessons), the fact that you're breathing, the fact that you can read, birds chirping, wind howling, a table you're using, and so on. Celebrate everything so your brain learns to see the celebrations all around you.

3) Remember. Socrates once said, learning is just remembering. Remember who you are, before all the hurt, before all the disappointments, etc.

Look at the world through fresh eyes daily, and in it, you will find what you seek.

 

 

Topics: Positivity, Mindfulness, Personal Coach, Life Coaching

Some People Create Trouble

Posted by Gregg Korrol on Apr 18, 2018 12:06:00 PM

Like me, you have problematic people in your life. They may be family, friends, or co-workers. (Seems you already have someone in mind lol). Here’s the thing, they may be crazy, they may be “off”, they may be mean, and they may be one of the greatest gifts in your life.

How could they possibly be a gift?

As Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn and even Shakespeare has said (albeit slightly differently), “Nothing has any meaning except the meaning you give it.”
The world does not exist as it is; the world exists as YOU ARE.

Think about it…

Ever notice how 10 different people can look at the same thing and walk away with a different experience or story? Think of people getting off a roller coaster - some are laughing, some are shaking, some say never again, some say lets get on line again! People who create problems, while not pleasant, also give you an opportunity to learn something about yourself.

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A few things you can learn:

  • Practice patience with your reactions. You don’t know the other person’s world. You don’t know what they’ve experienced or if their brain is wired slightly differently. While you don’t have to become best friends, be patient within your reactions.
  • Try to see them through compassionate eyes. You aren’t the only one who thinks that person is problematic; most likely many people do. And while the person may act like they don’t know it, they definitely do as they see how people react to them. Imagine you had people often respond to you in a negative way and couldn’t understand why. To you it seems obvious why, to them, they think they did nothing wrong.
  • What specific button have they pushed? Is there a particular thing they say or do that gets you really upset? Ask yourself why? That piece is about you. If you can figure out what button they pushed within you, you’ll grow and be a better person for it- hence the gift.

As Mike Dooley said, “The trouble with troublesome people is they often have much to teach to those to those they trouble. Love ‘em all”

  

 

Topics: Positivity, Mindfulness, Personal Coach, Life Coaching

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